All Woman Lie About Their # of Sex Partners!

12kolata600If you want to hear a woman tell a lie, ask her how many men she’s had sex with.

Fellas- let’s make this real simple for you, we all lie about how many men we have slept with.

You’ll probably never know the real number of sexual partners your woman has had.  You want the truth, but face it, you can’t handle the truth! We know this, therefore when asked the dreaded “How many?” We know to lie, lie & lie some more.

If we say 5 …we meant 20.  If we say 2 we meant 8, and if we say you’re our first…that just means we can’t remember any of their names.

Not to blow up spots but the general rule of thumb is- take the number she admits to and double it, and that gives you about half of the real number … maybe.

 

Why would women feel the need to lie about their sex lives?

 

Well…

  • If we tell the truth you might think we are a hoe and HELLO! We all know the old adage  - “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” (not to say we want to be a house wife, or any other kind of wife anyway but still)
  • You thought we were so sweet and innocent, we don’t want to burst your bubble.
  • Maybe I’m a tad bit ashamed- I lost count after 22 years old and 30 men (Yeah it was back in college, in the back of the car, or back in the day, but just maybe I would rather forget that shit even happened)
  • If you knew the real number you’d know I was lying when I said you were the “best”, the “biggest”, the “only one I let put his dick in mouth”, etc. etc.
  • Honesty might be the best policy but sometimes the truth hurts. We are trying to protect your ego.

Most men say they want a woman with some experience, but they don’t want to feel like she’s got more miles on her then his SUV.  This is probably the main reason we women lie.

Women often try to justify their distortions. Some women use very complicated personal rules, like, ‘It doesn’t count because I only had sex with him once, I don’t really remember that guy that well, so he’s off the list. ‘I was drunk, so he doesn’t count,’ and the list goes on… we had a long enough list to take up 8 pages …Here are our favorites.

Reasons not to count a sexual partner, and other legal rules and clauses (some might actually hold up in a court of law)

1. The sex was trash

2. It was only anal or only oral (what exactly classifies as “sex” anyway?)

3.  It was a one night stand

4.  Your mother had a baby by him

5.  You don’t know his name (first, last, or nick)

6.  It was a quickie ( 10 minute rule in effect- anything less doesn’t count)

7. It happened on a ski trip, Vegas, All Star Weekend or Spring break ( what happens there stays there, you’re not supposed to remember anything)

8.  You were drinking, drunk, smoking, or taking “something”

9. You subtract one fuck buddy by default every 4 years

10. Your number of sexual partners is more than double your age

11. You don’t remember

12. He’s not a known actor, celebrity, or even remotely “cool”

13. He is a she- licking coochie is not intercourse

14. The dude was someone no one knows and no one can ever find out

15. He’s dead

16. Anyone besides your husband after you are married

17. If you fucked more then one person in 24 hours or less it counts as an incident; there is no need for you to count each individual

18. If you moved out of state – clean slate!

19. I didn’t come!

20. If you become a born again virgin- your past sexual relations can be deleted from your memory (I usually become born again every 6 months or so.)

21. He only put the head in

22. He didn’t come in me ( mouths and anus don’t count as “in”)

23. Did I mention I DIDN’T FUCKING COME!

24. He wore a condom so there was really no contact

25. The dick was little – almost like it never even went in.

26. Slept with?  We didn’t sleep at all

27. The record label shelved his second album as if   I’d dare admit to fucking his  non label having ass

28. Anyone done before the age of 21- you didn’t know what you were doing

29. The lights were off, so technically you have no confirmation if anything actually happened or not.

30. You slipped and fell on it.

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31 Comments

  1. brandyella /

    this is so on point i never tell the truth even though my number is not that many i don’t think it’s anybody’s biz to know. loved it!

  2. Kallisa /

    Yeah this was on point! Men don’t want to know! Hell we don’t really want to know! But its the same with men I don’t realy want to know how many woman he’s been with either. Both sexes lie because sex its so easy to get now a days. So everyone’s freaking. But let’s please keep it wrapped up! And get tested!

  3. shantelm /

    i mean Wat if u really r tellin d truth about how many partners u had then wat?

  4. suzzet /

    This is so on point! No man actually wants to know u have more experience than him! So its safer to lie, just a little white lie.

  5. I’m sorry but it’s shallow to be so steriotypical and use the term ‘all’. That’s like saying all men are pigs, or women all fake orgasms. I admit that some women refuse to tell their partner because of some of the reasons listed, but there are honest people who actually have a loving, truthful and commited relationship. Let’s not be naive now.

  6. j starr /

    you know what? a lot of what we write is for entertainment. You will definitely tell when it is a serious piece. Love all the comments btw!

  7. candice /

    i have never lied. I keep it real. I am 24 and slept with 8 guys. I don’t think it is that serious.
    Love the work jstarr.

  8. az real az all /

    I love the honesty coming out of the sistahz all a sudden(!)

  9. Inquisitive /

    men lie. women lie. it is what it is. if u can’t handle the truth, don’t ask…….

  10. wooooooooooow. yall is crazy. a record deal? pu$$y is free f**k what you heard. Nobody has to have a record deal to get ass. I don’t got one and am doing fine.

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  22. really enjoyed reading this

  23. badder than yours /

    so many spam comments. this is a real issue thought there would be more real comments. i have never lied about how many guys ive had sex with. but then again i am not a hoe so i don’t need to.

  24. Hilarious! People don’t get that over half of this article is being sarcastic and snarky. e.e Anyway, sooo true! I lie. I’ve been with my man for going on six years now and I just can’t bear to tell him, lol. I think a lot of chicks are up here lying in their comments, too! Ladies, let’s keep it real. Lots of us have slept with more men than we think our partners will accept. I know how us women are and you can’t tell me this article doesn’t represent at least 50% of women (the parts that weren’t just being funny). I lied to my man when I first met him and told him I’d been with 7, and he said 10. Years later I brought it up again, I lied again and said 11, and he said 20. I acted angry and pissed that he lied, but he forgot he even lied and I knew I was still lyin. Hahaha.

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  26. Kurt_S /

    This is relevant information, although I wouldn’t directly ask for it myself. A man with a low number of sexual partners probably doesn’t have the same values as a woman who totally sleeps around and who has a high number of sexual. It is much easier for a typical woman to get sex than it is for the typical man, so a woman with a high number is likely to have poor impulse control and is more likely to cheat and have dangerous STDs.

  27. chris /

    If you’re lying about the number then you ARE a promiscuous whore and you know it.

  28. If you have any class or honor at all, there are only a few correct responses to this question:

    • The literal truth. This, of course, requires the kind of moral courage that’s utterly lacking in the modern skank. She often disguises it (even to herself), though, behind a veneer of self-indulgent feminist tripe.

    • A variant of “That’s none of your business.” This *is* an acceptable answer to a one-night stand, hook-up, date, fuck buddy/friend with benefits, or even early-stage-of-relationship boy or girlfriend, but becomes progressively less so as you acknowledge your love and respect for that person. Anyone with whom you’re considering a permanent relationship has the *fundamental* right to this information, as it helps them make an informed choice about the person with whom they’re considering a serious commitment. Any prevarication means that, like it or not, admit it or not, your love is based in some measure on a lie, and is thus tainted at best and more likely poisoned.

    • Something evasive like, “I don’t discuss my past” or “I don’t inquire as to your sexual history and I’d appreciate if you afforded me the same courtesy.” This response, while also a fairly legitimate and reasonably justifiable one (as well as especially effective if you both have something to hide), of course, is often given by a woman who’s feigning principles but is in actuality concealing a number that in retrospect appalls even her.

    • The warning, “You don’t want to know. No … REALLY … YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW.” If the spouse/fiance(e) accepts this, all well and good. Fair play. It’s a legitimate and valid reply—especially if you believe (read that *know*) the answer would upset your other half. If, however, he or she persists, and you’re in a relationship which necessitates complete honesty and total disclosure, as a union sanctioned by God unquestionably does, well … you should come clean, no pun intended.

    • The entirely undiluted truth, which includes both numbers *and* whatever specifics are required by the significant other. [Yes, this includes complete candor in reply to such questions as, "Was anyone bigger/tighter than me?" "Did you bed down with him/her in a matter of days or even hours because he/she was so hot, even though you made me wait a month-and-a-half?" "Did she/he make you cum harder than I do?"] These things cannot be unsaid, of course … but pretending that your past can be undone by ignoring or lying about it is indicative of an emotional immaturity and inability to deal with reality as it is, rather than pulling a DJ and spin-doctoring your way out of it.

  29. I’m less than 2 months away from being 23, in those 23 years I have yet to lie about my number, I’ve been with a grand total of 6 women and feel it’s my girlfriend’s right to know my number and my right to know hers, like someone already said, it’s about trust.. And when I say 6 I’m including a just the tip. That also includes oral, fingering, and hand jobs too. I don’t applaud the guys who boast about their numbers, if anything I think they’re retards for putting themselves at that much risk but that’s their choice and I won’t judge men or women who do so.

    However women aren’t as clever as you thought if you assume that men don’t know you’re lying about your number. If we accept your answer we’re playing dumb because we don’t want to hurt your feelings.

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  1. Sex and the Numbers Game - [...] a sexual partner once he’s inside you. Sorry, you can’t use the 10-second rule or the 10-minute rule to ...

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