All Woman Lie About Their # of Sex Partners!

12kolata600If you want to hear a woman tell a lie, ask her how many men she’s had sex with.

Fellas- let’s make this real simple for you – we all lie about how many men we have “slept” with.

You’ll probably never know the real number of sexual partners your woman has had.  You want the truth, but face it, you can’t handle the truth! We know this, therefore when asked the dreaded “How many?”  We know to lie, lie & lie some more.

If we say 5 …we meant 20.  If we say 2 we meant 8, and if we say you’re our first…that just means we can’t remember any of their names.

Not to blow up spots but the general rule of thumb is- take the number she admits to and double it, and that gives you  about half of the real number…maybe.

Why would women feel the need to lie about their sex lives?

Well…

  • If we tell the truth you might think we’re a hoe and HELLO! We all know the old adage  – “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” ( not to say we want to be a house wife, or any other kind of wife anyway but still)
  • You thought we were so sweet and innocent, we don’t want to burst your bubble.
  • Maybe I’m a tad bit ashamed… I lost count after 22 years old and 30 men (Yeah it was back in college, in the back of the car, or back in the day, but just maybe I would rather forget that shit even happened)
  • If you knew the real number you’d know I was lying when I said you were the “best”, the “biggest”, the “only one I let put his dick in mouth”, etc. etc.
  • Honesty might be the best policy – but sometimes the truth hurts.  We are trying to protect your ego.

Most men say they want a woman with some experience, but they don’t want to feel like she’s got more miles on her then his SUV.  This is probably the main reason we women lie.

Women often try to justify their distortions. Some women use very complicated personal rules, like, ‘It doesn’t count because I only had sex with him once,’ ‘I don’t really remember that guy that well, so he’s off the list,’ ‘I was drunk, so he doesn’t count,’” and the list goes on… we had a long enough list to take up 8 pages …Here are our favorites.

Reasons not to count a sexual partner, and other legal rules and clauses (some might actually hold up in a court of law)

1.    The sex was trash

2.    It was only anal or only oral (what exactly classifies as “sex” anyway?)

3.    It was a one night stand

4.    Your mother had a baby by him

5.    You don’t know his name (first, last, or nick)

6.    It was a quickie ( 10 minute rule in effect – anything less doesn’t count)

7.    It happened on a ski trip, Vegas, All Star Weekend or Spring break ( what happens there stays there, you’re not supposed to remember anything)

8.    You were drinking, drunk, smoking, or taking “something”

9.   You  subtract one fuck buddy by default every 4 years

10. Your number of sexual partners is more than double your age

11. You don’t remember

12. He’s not a known actor, celebrity, or even remotely “cool”.

13. He is a she- licking coochie is not “intercourse”

14. The dude was someone no one knows and no one can ever find out

15. He’s dead

16. Anyone besides your husband after you are married

17. If you fucked more then one person in 24 hours or less it counts as an incident; there is no need for you to count each individual

18. If you moved out of state – clean slate!

19. I didn’t come!

20. If you become a born again virgin- your past sexual relations can be deleted from your memory (I usually become born again every 6 months or so.)

21. He only put the head in

22. He didn’t come in me ( mouths, and anus’s don’t count as “in”)

23. Did I mention I DIDN’T FUCKING COME!

24. He wore a condom – so like there was really no contact

25. The dick was little – almost like it never even went in.

26. Slept with? – We didn’t sleep at all

27.  the record label shelved his second album – as if I’d dare admit to fucking his  non label having ass

28. Anyone done before the age of 21- you didn’t know what you were doing

29. The lights were off, so technically you have no confirmation if anything actually happened or not.

30. You slipped and fell on it.

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25 Responses to “All Woman Lie About Their # of Sex Partners!”

  1. brandyella says:

    this is so on point i never tell the truth even though my number is not that many i don’t think it’s anybody’s biz to know. loved it!

  2. Kallisa says:

    Yeah this was on point! Men don’t want to know! Hell we don’t really want to know! But its the same with men I don’t realy want to know how many woman he’s been with either. Both sexes lie because sex its so easy to get now a days. So everyone’s freaking. But let’s please keep it wrapped up! And get tested!

  3. shantelm says:

    i mean Wat if u really r tellin d truth about how many partners u had then wat?

  4. suzzet says:

    This is so on point! No man actually wants to know u have more experience than him! So its safer to lie, just a little white lie.

  5. ape says:

    I’m sorry but it’s shallow to be so steriotypical and use the term ‘all’. That’s like saying all men are pigs, or women all fake orgasms. I admit that some women refuse to tell their partner because of some of the reasons listed, but there are honest people who actually have a loving, truthful and commited relationship. Let’s not be naive now.

  6. j starr says:

    you know what? a lot of what we write is for entertainment. You will definitely tell when it is a serious piece. Love all the comments btw!

  7. candice says:

    i have never lied. I keep it real. I am 24 and slept with 8 guys. I don’t think it is that serious.
    Love the work jstarr.

  8. az real az all says:

    I love the honesty coming out of the sistahz all a sudden(!)

  9. Inquisitive says:

    men lie. women lie. it is what it is. if u can’t handle the truth, don’t ask…….

  10. kareem says:

    wooooooooooow. yall is crazy. a record deal? pu$$y is free f**k what you heard. Nobody has to have a record deal to get ass. I don’t got one and am doing fine.

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  22. really enjoyed reading this

  23. badder than yours says:

    so many spam comments. this is a real issue thought there would be more real comments. i have never lied about how many guys ive had sex with. but then again i am not a hoe so i don’t need to.

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